Adventures in meditation

It's been about ten months since I made a more intentional decision to start meditating. And I knew that it would be a challenge, but wow. I am continually surprised by how quickly my mind strays away from my breath, and on to the seemingly incessant stream of thoughts. If you saw me, I might look outwardly calm, but believe me, there is a storm of activity on the inside. A storm! Yowzers.

The biggest challenge, other than focusing, and other than making time for it, is finding a quiet space. Between the two cats milling and mewing about, and the general creakiness of this ol' house, there are lots of audible distractions. Who would have thought two (relatively) tiny creatures could make the floor creak so much?

Another big challenge is not giving in to the urge to get up and 'do something,' and recognize that this time of 'doing nothing' is actually really important. Leo Babauta sums it up nicely in this post: "...at first, it is instructive. You learn to listen to your thoughts, to be aware of your urges to do something else, to plan and set goals. You learn to watch yourself, but to just sit still and not act on those urges. You learn to be content with stillness."

It's rather interesting what comes up, and how the mind, well, my mind anyway, seems rather uncomfortable with the idea of not being continually busy.

Though I struggle to consistently find the stillness, I do catch glimpses of it now and then. And it does feel as though I have been able to cultivate a sort of spaciousness... not sure if this will make sense, but all the to-dos etc. don't seem to be as close and compressing as they've been. Maybe I've let go of some things, perhaps my perception of their urgency has changed, but regardless, there has been some sort of shift, and I'm diggin' it.

I have joined Susan Piver's Open Heart Project, and really like the 10-minute guided meditations she provides. I had been trying guided and unguided meditations from a variety of sources, but I find Susan's to be the most accessible/effective/approachable/enjoyable for me. Susan teaches meditation in the Shambhala tradition, and in this practice, the eyes are kept open. Up until I stumbled upon the Open Heart Project, I had been practicing with my eyes closed, but the reasons for keeping them open make a lot of sense. Shambhala meditation is a practice of wakefulness, and by keeping your eyes open, you can better integrate your practice with "real life." When you close your eyes, it tends to be more of an inner practice (which I also like). I find I naturally want to close my eyes, but I'd like to stick with the eyes-open technique and see how that goes.