Carpe diem

This is not the post I wanted to write this week. I wish there was no need for this. But that is how these things work. And I'm not sure what words to write or how to write them, but I hope by writing something, I can begin to understand.

Today I went to the funeral for my friend Lindsay who passed away after a two-year battle with colon cancer. She was 30. I am glad that the last time I saw her she was happy and optimistic. Though thin and clearly unwell, I thought for sure she would beat it. The news of her passing was a shock. But I will always remember her smile and incredibly sunny and cheerful personality. Though we worked together only briefly a few years ago, when I first came to Ottawa, she was one of the kindest people I've ever had the privilege of knowing, and I will miss her.

The ceremony celebrating Lindsay's life was beautiful. Standing room only. In fact, there were so many people, we filled two entire rooms. She may have been surprised to see so many people there, but she shouldn't have been. She was well loved. Family and friends said wonderful things; about how she lived her life to the fullest every day; how kind and loving she was; a friend to everyone.

The officiant spoke of Lindsay's impact on all of our lives, and how a passing so young can be difficult to come to terms with. Spoken by someone else, his words may have sounded like a trite reading of 'daily affirmations.' But with his sincerity his words seemed real, and honest, and I found them immensely comforting. I feel so selfish saying this, but it was just what I needed to hear. This has been just one more untimely passing—of entirely too many this year—to overturn whatever understanding I have of what the heck we're all doing on this planet. When things like this happen, it brings into focus the inanity of so much of what we do and worry about, and brings life to a standstill. Why bother? What's the point? He spoke of this inertia that comes from feeling so uprooted. So what can we do? How can we move forward? We must Carpe Diem. It's the only thing we can do. We have so few days to live, you have to seize them. It's not easy, but we have to try. We can honour those that we have lost by emulating the traits we loved in them so much. He said so many other things, and I wish I could more clearly remember his words, because they were lovely. 

Anyway, thanks for reading. Now go hug your friends, hug your family, hug your pets, and laugh more, dance more, sing more, and definitely: eat more ice cream. 

xo