Hereness and Thereness. Or: grass is greener.

Basically, Hereness is the quality of being present and living in the moment, and Thereness is when your mind wanders and explores the distant or recent past; the immediate or far future. Daydreams, memories, plans. Anywhere but here. And anytime but now.

Hereness is simple. It is only this moment, nothing else. It is awareness and appreciation of your immediate surroundings; often through the senses. It is real.



Thereness is more complex; it can be many things. It can be idealistic, used as a distraction to avoid thinking or doing something perceived as unpleasant. It can be dwelling on a positive (or negative) memory. It can be running through all the to-do items on your list. For me, most of the time, Thereness tends to the Daydream end of the spectrum, and is a yearning, a wanting to be There: Away. Where things are different, better somehow. Warmer. Brighter. Rose-coloured.

The lure of this type of Thereness is strong, and easy to understand, because it’s rarely tempered with reality. It’s generally seen and felt through various filters and associations, vacant of those mundane details that would otherwise infect it. It’s the way the sun felt, the quality of the light, the thrilling eagerness with which you happily wandered aimlessly through piazzas and over bridges, with a croissant in one hand, and a camera in the other. Here there are no parking tickets, no kitty litter to clean, no missing the bus. Ok, I’m guilty: I’m an escapist. And the worst sort of escapist too, because my imagination is vivid, and my glass is well over half-full.

Now this is all well and good, and I wouldn’t ever want to stop such joyful daydreams, but it’s important to make sure that such trips to the Thereness aren’t at the expense of taking for granted the Hereness. It’s hard to just be, and not be actively planning, always striving, never stopping. Finding the Hereness is a journey, a work in progress; and my breath (when I notice it and pay mindful attention to it) a constant reminder. But it’s also finding that Thereness, that free contentedness, and applying it to the Hereness.

Really, finding the Hereness and connecting to what’s real is getting a hold of the larger perspective, because who cares about parking tickets, really? Sure, they suck at the time, you wanted to use that money to buy a new pair of pants. But do the pants even matter? Things fade, experiences don’t. So smile, enjoy. Listen to the sounds around you. Look. Really look at what’s around you. Revel in the richness of it all, and the joy that it’s all real. Right now. Here.